so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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