it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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