Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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