Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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