is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
