I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
