take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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