we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
