He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have feelings that need drinking.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
