And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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