fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
