the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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