Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He better not be in your backpack
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.