First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
