If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
