remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
