There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
