Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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