Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
