I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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