I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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