either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
