You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
