Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize