We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
