Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
