Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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