when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
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By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
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Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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