Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
