I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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