I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
