I think i peed on brittanys purse
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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