This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
