Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
