In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
