Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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