After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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