note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I deserve this hangover.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
