Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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