I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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