got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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