Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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