Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
