A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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