the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
