He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Boobs speak an international language.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize