dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
