I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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