dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
