The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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