epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
