Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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