i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I take back everything I said about communal showers
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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