it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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