Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
