Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
