No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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