Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize