his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
